Contributing to global climate change since 1965, Allen believes that you have a Constitutional right to his opinion. 
3,453rd Floor… Housewares
Evil death elevator to the sky.
A friend pointed me to this article at CNN about plans to build a space elevator. The idea behind the space elevator is to build a really long cable out of some exotic material that has yet to be invented (probably nanotubes and snot), fling one end of it into orbit with a counterweight and to attach the other end to the ground or, say, your house. Once the cable is in place, it would be simple to attach a climbing structure that would work its way up and down the cable. This would eliminate the need for rockets.
Now, I’m no astrologist, but it seems to me like this is a really bad idea. Everyone knows that in the future we will have rockets. Getting rid of rockets is, in my opinion, a step backwards. I’m forward-looking; that’s why God put eyes in the front of my head. Secondly, what happens if there is a fire? Are we supposed to take the stairs? And lastly, you know it’s only a matter of time until some joker takes the thing half way up and then pushes the emergency button. Space pranksters!
I, for one, have chosen to fear the space elevator and all that it stands for. However if for some reason I am forced to use it, I will remember to stand in such a way as to take up as little room as possible and to avoid eye contact with those around me.
Um… could someone press “Mars” for me? Thanks.
I know it’s Starbucks’ goal to expand and increase the number of their retail locations but this is simply going too far. Literally.
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:59 pmAnd we all know how bad a space-fart can be in a confined room.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:36 pm