Fret Level Increased to Banana

"We have it on good authority that somewhere within the month of June, somewhere, without warning, the thompsonian*NET web site will be updated," said Reiner G. Thompson, VP of Largest Dog. "Our best intelligence tells us that there are, right now, as we speak, those who desire to update the web site and who have been slowly gathering the forces necessary to carry out the publishing."

"The update could come without warning in places you might never expect," said Allen Thompson, VP of Things and Stuff. However thompsonian*NET authorities refused to go into details for fear of compromising their sources. "Let's just say that someone, somewhere might be writing something to be posted some place at some time. I really can't be any more specific about it."

Readers were warned to look for suspicious publishing activity near their web browsers but otherwise to go on with their lives as normal. "If we let the threat of spontaneous web site update frighten us into changing our lives, then the updaters have already won," said Hunter S. Thompson, VP of Smallest Dog. "Seriously though, is there any food available at this press conference? I'm not complaining but the last time we had a reader alert announcement there were some mad catering skills being displayed. All I can find this time are some bread crumbs and part of a potato chip."

"Yeah, they had quite a spread last time, didn't they?" asked TT, VP of Stuff and Things. Thompson agreed with Thompson and Thompson but Thompson had this to say, "No matter how poorly the press conference refreshments have turned out this time around, we need to remember what brought us here: the possibility that someone, somewhere could write something and then, without provocation, post it as a complete, subliminal, or partial update to the thompsonian*NET web site."

Speculation within the press corps suggested that the press conference was being called to distract readers from other pressing issues already made public on the site. "This is simply an attempt by certain lawn care enthusiasts who wish to hide the shame they feel regarding last month's story," said someone who was somewhere for an undisclosed period of time who asked to speak on the condition of irrelevance. "Dude!" another person interrupted, "I think they have a point. Really, the food at this conference seriously blows compared to last time."

One of the thomponians took the stage and attempted to bring the press conference to order. "Our best advice is to be on the lookout for one of these four individuals who may or may not be related to suspected web publishing plans near or around the general area of the Internet. The suspects are known to have several things in common, namely, eyes, ears and noses." The announcer paused and added, as if in afterthought, "Oh, and they're all suspected to be warm-blooded, possibly mammal."

Before anyone else could ask questions about the food situation, the conference was brought to a close. This reporter is not afraid to admit that he often keeps one eye on his browser in fear that someone, somewhere will actually add something to thompsonian*NET. It could happen to any of us.