Sabbatical 1998 - Day 16

Oregon Caves... and then runs for the border.

Today's installment is being composed as I do laundry.  I packed lightly so there's a small apparel rotation and those stinky socks can only stand to be cooped up in that canvas bag for so long.  Eventually they develop language skills and run for public office so it's best to get them out of there before they legislate me to death. Other guests at this motel have obviously never seen someone bring a computer to the laundry room.  "Get your own laptop! No, you can't look."

The captain has turned off the No Spelunking sign. You are now free to move about the cave. 

I thought that, since we where having such wonderful summer weather, it would be a good time to go several hundred feet into the ground.  Today I took a tour of the Oregon Caves National Monument and discovered an entirely new ecosystem: fragile and teaming with life unique to this particular area.  ...and that was just the sink in the men's room.   In the caves I learned all kinds of things about what happens if you let perfectly good lake-bottom lime cook for a few million years. Well, you get marble, for one thing.  Then, if you let it get wet for a few more years, it begins to change into less useful but more interesting formations.

These formations are often called stalagtights and stalagmights.  The stalagtights prance about the cave wearing spandex exercise pants doing ballet routines and interior decorating.  The stalagmights hold up the cave with their incredible muscles and talk about how much beer they can drink and about which is better: Ford or Chevy.  At least, uh, that's what I think I heard the guide say.  I dunno. Could have been the other way around. 

If a 'tight meets a 'might in the cave, you get a whatcha-may-column. Thi s fun! I think the science of  geography is so interesting.

Later that day I bid a fond farewell to the Mother Land. Crossing the border into unknown territory.  Into the land of sales tax and self-service gas (cheaper too because they don't have to pay an attendant -- NOT) and $2.00 bottles of water and tuna-free dolphin.

A border guard interrogated me for almost 10 seconds.  Asked me if I was a fresh fruit or vegetable today.  Since opinions among my friends vary on one or both of those things, I just said that I wasn't particularly fresh since I'd been sweating into my crash suit all day.  She bought it and let me through!

Today's final destination in the Golden Bear State of Free Weed is Eureka!, the City of Perpetual Surprised Discovery.  Nothing will grow here; all plant life has to be trucked in from neighboring cities because... nature abhors a vacuum.   (Hey, c'mon, I was going to say something about how sucky it was here...)

Day 17 >>